You Know You Have a Chronic Illness When…

Let’s face it. . . chronic illness can have its humorous moments if we look for them. Feel free to add yours below in the comments. We’d love to giggle along with you!

• You bawled when the television show ER went off the air because it was the only TV show where you actually felt like you understood all the technology talk.
• When you hear the term “Club Med” you automatically think of the hospital.
• When you are in the hospital you keep imagining people being intimate behind closed doors because you’ve watched too many episodes of Grey’s Anatomy.
• You ask your child to open the “child-proof” bottles of medicine because your hands are too sore.
• Your medical records have to be transported on a cart.
• To entertain people at parties you recite the side effects of medications as if you are the voice over on a commercial.
• Your favorite Oprah program is when Dr. Oz is on.
• The pharmacist brings your medications to the counter without you having to give him your name.
• To get rid of boredom on road trips, your whole family can go through the alphabet and name a drug that starts with each letter of the alphabet.
• When you’re unable to sleep because of pain, you watch “The Jerry Springer Show” or a “The Real Housewives” and feel like you actually have a life.
• Your spelling has improved dramatically, especially on words like “fibromyalgia” and “osteoporosis.”
• When anyone around you has an accident you have a complete First Aid kit of bandages, ointments, sanitizers, etc.
• Or you’ve been “Around the World in Thirty Minutes” with CNN’s Headline News 57 times in one sitting.
• You earn $20 cash back a month from your pharmacy’s bonus points.
• You have a panic attack in public and say, “Praise God this is only the fourth one today!”
• You’re invited to the wedding of the gal who works at the hospital lab.
• Someone says, “You are looking so good” and it actually makes you feel a bit frustrated, rather than flattered.
• You’re child thinks watching you do injections of medication is “cool.”
• You have a flashback and don’t know what happened and can honestly say, “I don’t know where I was or what I was doing but I’ll make something up if you’d like.”
• You carry hand-sanitizer with you everywhere and aren’t afraid to use it.
• You shake hands with your left hand so it throws people off enough that they don’t squeeze your hand.
• You know every scripture about healing and can finish people’s sentences when they try to quote them to you.
• The teen children of your friends call to see if they could interview you for a paper in their health class.
• It’s more fun to find “cute pajamas” than actual clothes.
• You actually enjoy talking to telemarketers because they can’t really hang up on you and you can use them for a therapy session.
• You leave up “Get Well” cards on your mantel for months because… you’re still hoping the well wishes come true.

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Copyright, Lisa Copen, Reprint permission granted if the following is included:

Reprinted with permission of author, Lisa Copen, Copyright 2009. Find out more about National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week and their 5-day virtual conference at http://www.invisibleillness.com

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