Rebuilding After Illness
I recently had a catastrophic computer crash, and as a result, lost four years of my virtual life. Unfortunately, I did not back-up any of my work. I was devastated, but what could I do? No matter how much I begged and pleaded, the virtual life that existed before the crash was gone.
And so it also was with my physical life. After a car crash, my life that existed before was abruptly gone.
What is one to do when a crash, either virtual or physical, causes what once was to disappear? The only thing one can do? Take a deep breath, and start fresh.
I am slowly rebuilding my computer files. On some level, I feel an odd sense of relief that my computer erased so much of my virtual life. I had so many ideas and projects saved, that I felt totally overwhelmed by the sheer volume of “stuff.”
Interests waxed and waned, but the “clutter” of the ideas remained saved on my computer in case I regained interest. But the thing with computers is there is only so much room to store data. Eventually, space runs out, and there is no room for rich, new ideas.
When I rebuild my virtual world, I will choose to only keep those things which are in alignment with who I am now and what my dreams are in this moment.
If I look back on my own life prior to the car crash, I see much the same thing. I held on to things that were no longer relevant in my life. I did so out of obligation, expectation, or fear of letting go and allowing change to flow. (I don’t do change well!) In hoarding the past, I was not allowing myself room to enjoy a present, or to welcome a future.
This brings to mind a lesson about forest fires. While incredibly destructive and a sad thing to witness, they serve an important purpose; to clear away the old brush to make way for new vegetation to grow. That vegetation, subsequently, nurtures wildlife. It is life-giving. It serves a higher purpose. Looking back, I see now that my spirit wanted to grow in my old life, but my “ego” kept me living out of alignment with my true self.
And, so, maybe it is with us and this thing called fibromyalgia. Maybe it is here to help us clear away the old and outdated from our minds and lives, so that we may make way for beautiful new growth and possibilities. Maybe it’s all part of a higher purpose. Maybe it’s here to bring us into alignment with our true purpose, so we can release the superficial clutter we filled our lives with before.
When you live with limited energy levels, you must learn to weed out the things that no longer have real meaning in your life so you have the energy to enjoy those things that make your heart sing.
Fibromyalgia and other invisible illnesses definitely create unexpected change in our lives, but I believe that our ability to live positively and joyfully with this condition is dependant upon our reaction to that change.
Do we rebel and fight against it, forever trying to turn back the hands of time to what our lives were before we shared our journey with this illness? Or do we accept it, consider that it may have a higher purpose for us, and set out on an adventure to find fertile new ground upon which to plant our heartfelt dreams?
I think I’m opting for choice number two. What about you?
About the Author:
Kim Arthur is a self-proclaimed Champion of Creativity, Diva of Delightfulness, Fairy Godmother of Fun. . . Kim created the awareness music video, “Fibromyalgia: What It Feels Like” in which she relates sensations she feels with Fibro to sensations those who do not have the condition may have felt at some point. She is currently creating e-books, courses, and fun goodies for women living with Fibromyalgia. Visit: http://www.FibroQueendom.com A royally positive place for women living with Fibromyalgia.
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