Tell a Chronically Ill Friend, “I Admire You”
The words, “I admire you” can have significant influence in how well your chronically ill friend copes with her illness today.
Has anyone ever said to you, “I admire you”? How did that make you feel? In an odd way, hearing “I admire you” makes me want to try to do my best even harder. It gives me a little push that my efforts are noticed and make a difference.
Living with illness is hard. Maybe no one has told you lately just how hard it is. I have told my mom (who has had diabetes the last sixteen years or so)… “Mom, can you imagine having kids, and trying to work, and having your illness all at the same time?
When was the last time a friend looked in your eyes and said, “You know what? I really admire how well you handle thing whole illness. It’s huge. And you do all you do with grace, even when you are in so much pain.”
Now, we who are living with illness are not perfect. Those of us with illness lose our cool, we lose our minds, we lose our step, and on occasion, we even lose our dinner. Illness isn’t pretty and we know it’s not something people really choose to do, you just have no other alternative but to do it.
As I hear mothers around me lament about their bored children during summertime, part of me wants to compare my circumstances. “You think you have it tough? My (ADHD-never tired-always going) son is bored too, and I am trying to taper down on prednisone and fit in physical therapy sessions because of my rheumatoid arthritis. I can’t even lift a jug of milk with shoulder not sliding out of place!”
But. . . . that would not be nice, right?
And truthfully, we don’t want sympathy. We just want someone to say they notice, like when you get a new haircut or get the inside of your car cleaned out. We want a little “Wow. Cool. You go, girl” (or “dude” if you are male.)
So tell someone today, “I admire you”–even if they are not chronically ill. Tell the teen that helps you to the car with your groceries “I admire that you are working so hard in this heat.” Tell your postman, “I admire how you do this job every day.” Tell someone “I admire you” and see if it makes a difference in their expression.
TWEET THIS: Things TO SAY to an ill person #5 I really admire how you are handling this. It’s – huge challenge and I admire U. #iiwk12 http://ow.ly/ce40x
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Okay, so this video is close to being a bit corny, as this woman sings Mister Roger’s song, “I am Proud of You.” But I love her joy and I remember this song from when I was young and watched Mister Roger’s Neighborhood. Don’t you think our kids need to hear more songs like this now days? We all need to occasionally.
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