September 7, 2012 by admin Filed under
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Wayne and Sherri you are such an inspiration to those of us with invisible illnesses and the spouse. I pray my husband will watch this later and get a different/correct view of what I go through and how I need him. Please pray with me about this Sherri you are so fortunate to have an understanding spouse that is right there with you and for you. God bless him!
Cherie, yes, that’s one of the neat parts of being able to connect this way–to share it! I do hope your husband will watch at least some of it. We are so glad Wayne joined us. I wish we had more men–I ask, but they don’t seem to want to talk about it much. Bless you.
Thank you Sherry and Wayne. I TOTALLY relate to what you shared. I am fortunate to have family and friends who do understand but there are always a few who don’t understand. Still, I am very blessed and I continue to count my blessings and every situation that comes my way because God gives me hope and strength through it all :o)
Thank you both for sharing your amazing and inspirational story – it’s great to learn that none of us are alone in this fight, and is great to know that regardless of our illness or disability that there are many commonalities and shared experiences between us all. I will definitely share what I have learnt today with ‘healthy’ friends and family – most are supportive but there are a few who are skeptical and not truly understanding. And will definitely check out your website for sure!!
Dear Wayne and Sherri,
Thank you for sharing so honestly, and also for coming up with many positive ways for us to help friends and family understand why doing ‘ordinary’ everyday stuff can be impossible.
Sherri-taking part in this conference must have cost you hugely. And I wouldn’t like to guess how long it will take you to get over it. Thank you.
I’m so glad that I stopped by and want to thank you both for the blessing you’ve been to me (and I’m sure many others) today.
Thank you Tiffany for sharing….I truly am blessed to have listened in on what you have had to share.
I’ve based my life on “status” …and it is “what JulieLyn DOES” that is “who JulieLyn IS”…and it is getting from there to here now & to help others to “see” & “understand” …all I’ve been able to share with others is that I am in a “different phase of life now” and then I hope that suffices~LOL
In sharing that I need to go “back” to assess the “what/why” of my likes and interests and then find a new way to output them…I like that continued encouragement…I am a HELPER not a RECEIVER…so I continue to rely on the Word. “We are not to only be gracious givers but gracious receivers, too” ….You’ve given me lots to think on and also to have the session to look back on…I am grateful for what you have “brought to the table” for me, Tiffany and know that the Lord will use this in my life (and the lives of others) to make an impact! Blessings to you
P.S: Again, thank you Lisa~For all you do~ God Bless
With Love to you in Christ~Always, Jewels :)
So far I have only listened to 2 minutes of your talk but I can already relate to your experience with your mum. I have that same difficult relationship with mine. My mum is VERY controlling and when I am home from university, she makes me dependent on her. She controls who can use the car when, what for, and how long for. She controls what I do each day. She controls who I see. She even controls who I invite to my birthday parties. Each time I go home, it gets harder and harder to get along with her. If I am home for more than a week, our relationship quickly goes sour. I don’t know what to do. I cannot retaliate, it makes our relationship even worse and it hasn’t worked before. I just feel like a caged animal.
I’m 21 soon mum! I don’t need to be controlled!
Thank you for sharing your story. It’s inspirational. You are lucky you have someone close to you that is so caring and understanding.
Thank you Leslie for speaking. My marriage has been hard, especially when my husband is not very understanding of my illness. Your newest book sounds great! I just bought a copy.
Thank you Wayne and Sherri for sharing your story. I have been on your website before, but now that I know a little bit about your story it hits closer to home. I wish there were more supportive men out there! I had a lot of a ha moments during your talk.
When I came across your website, of course I cried. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for offering this website to all! I will tell you a little bit about me, although the story is long, like most others are. I will try to sum it up as quick as possible.
I am a married 39 yr. old mother of 3. (18, 14 & 12 yrs. old) I have been battling back issues since I was 17. It became worse as I hit 27. I could no longer work. I went from Dr. to Dr. for 5 yrs. being given narcotics to “control the pain” (it never did) and finally a Dr. I found recommended me for an artificial disc replacement. After the surgery, I was able to jog around outside with our new puppy, with little pain. Two years later, the pain started again. I went back to the Dr. whom operated on me, and he ran test after test, until he told me he could find nothing wrong with me. He said there was nothing he could do for me, and I felt like it was “only in my head” I lived in the pain up until 2010 with being prescribed narcotics and feeling like it was hopeless. I went to a different Dr. who was recommended to me by my neighbor. He ran tests, did epidurals and therapy. None of it worked. He then recommended me for a surgery showing me on my catscan that my artificial disc had slipped forward, throwing off my whole spine and the disc above it was herniated. He explained to my husband and I that it would only be a 45min. surgery, scraping part of the herniated disc out and putting a screw in to pull the artificial dis forward, in an outpatient facility and that it would take away most of the pain. I cried because I finally felt like there was help. The day of the surgery (September 19, 2011) I will never forget that date as long as I live. 7 ours later I woke up in horrific pain and was sent home literally not even 10 mins after I awoke in the recovery room. My husband had asked many times what was going on during the surgery the secretaries kept telling him “It was taking longer then planned” The ride home was the worst pain I had ever felt in my life. To make this part short a week went by I could NOY get in touch with the dr. he never returned any calls and I couldnt walk. After a week of that my husband brought me to a hospital where it was there I would find out my life was changed forever. After the catscan the nurse came in and looked dumbfounded. She had thought, like we told her, that I only had 1 that’s one screw put in. She held up the catscan and showed me that I now had 7 screws put in, 2 bars and a perfectly good disc taken out and fused and 3 of those screws were put directly through my nerves (which explained why I could no longer feel my legs. I NEVER agreed to any of that. The nurse asked who did the surgery and found that this so called “orthopedic” WASN’T even a licensed orthopedic, wasn’t allowed to perform those types of surgeries and that he was only a anesthesiologist!! (His license for anesthesia has since been suspended by the Board Of medical Examiners because of what he did to me) Since then I have had 3 revision surgeries, a bone infection and now have a fracture and the hardware is coming out, so I am going for yet another surgery. I live in horrific pain every day now. Can’t do any of the things I enjoyed anymore, feeling hopeless and useless to my family. Only problem is, is that, it feels like my family is almost “tired” of hearing about my pain. They helped me for the first 2 months and when I was able to finally start to be able to wlk around my house a little, the help stopped. I have told the kids even my husband (which he has seen the xrays of the break) that the Dr. said if I do not rest it might not heal and I may have to have another surgery with possibly redoing all the hardware again and possibly having to go through my stomach this time putting me at a 75% risk of bleeding to death because of scar tissue from the disc replacement. Well, the Dr. and I think that nightmare has come true. The pain is getting worse by day, I feel like I am looked at like I am lazy (I can barely stand to do my dishes, which by the way, not one of my kids or my husband do them, or offer to)nor do I have any of my family offer to help or friends. I have even tried leaving them in the sink for days, and still they leave them. I am so frustrated, angry, depressed..all of the above because this next surgery might of been able to be avoided. As I sit here typing, my husband is in the bedroom watching tv. Note: he will do this for 70% of the day if he is not working. Dishes are in the sink, laundry is overflowing and the floors are disgusting, yet it seems like knowone cares and I am made to feel like I have to do it because its my job and sometimes I think “well maybe it’s just in my head” and then I clean (well try to) and later I pay for it with even more pain then before and possibly making my back worse. My husband tells me that I am miserbale all the time. I try to be happy and smile, however it’s hard to with all this going on. He doesnt seem to understand, even though he says he does. He tells me “If you need help, just ask” however when I do, he doesn’t happily do it and I am made to feel like a burden. Even something as simple as yesterday take for examply…my husband asks if I need any help (Note: he was in the basement listening to music, knowing I was upstairs trying to prepare dinner for my family. I told him “I’m almost finished, but can you cut up this pepper for me” He never came upstairs to cut up the pepper and an hour later he comes upstairs asking for his dinner. When I confronted him he told me that I never asked him for help. (Maing me feel like I am loosing my mind) I know I did ask. MY family knows how bad I am doing, yet know one offers to help and I have tried many times to explain how I feel but nothing seems to be working. Everyday is a battle, I feel like I am loosing the battle and am falling deeper and deeper into depression. Sometimes I even think about divorcing him (even though I still do love him) because 1. he would be better off without me and 2. There would be less work for me to do if I lived bymyself. But then theres my kids. I couldnt do that to them either.
I always put myself and my health last. I have even been putting off this surgery because of my kids, because I would not feel comfortable at the hospital, without being home and taking care of them, I would worry. Maybe if I saw my husband making dinner for them, doing laundry and just there basic care I would. But he does not. I know it is my job to do. However, even though my health is bad, I feel that I am suppose to do it anyway, because if I don’t, know one else will, and they have showed me they won’t by them not giving a helping hand, even if asked or me just simply “going on strike”.
I feel for everyone out there. This is such a hard thing to live with. I feel like a basket case. Thanks for listening, and my apologies for such a long story, I tried to make it short as possible, although I know there are much worse out there. I am not looking for sympathy, however any suggestions would be a blessing. Thank you again for offering this website to us.
God Bless you all!!
My heart truly goes out to you and the situation you are in. I am 41, and also deal with chronic pain most of the time. Of course, I don’t think my pain can compare to what you’ve been dealing with. I truly am sorry. Please know I will keep you in my prayers. If you want a friend to talk to and pray with you, please feel free to friend me. I love to write letters and encourage others.
I have several disorders but the major ones that cause me the most grief are dysautonomia, fibromyalgia, cervical spinal stenosis, and sometimes bouts of depression. These are just a few of the ailments I have :o) Still, I may have illnesses but they don’t have me. I try to keep a positive attitude (although I fail miserably sometimes) and I try to encourage others because I’ve found my encouragement in the Lord.
I really wish you the best and I hope you will friend me. I’d love to be able to send little notes every now and again.
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