Can You Still Be Friends If They Think You Are Faking Your Illness?

by Lisa Copen

If you have an invisible chronic illness you may discover that the invisibility factor of the illness can be much more of a challenge than the physical changes your body is undergoing. Most people who are diagnosed with an illness sooner or later accept the illness as being a part of life. In order to have a life filled with joy, one must educate one’s self on the illness and that treatment options available, and then make choices.

But we have no control over our loved ones when they choose not to accept our illness, or sometimes even acknowledge it. Their skepticism can last a lifetime and damage our self-worth and many relationships.

So, what you do when someone important in your life refuses to acknowledge the seriousness of your disease, or accept that the disease even exists? Here are four steps to change your actions and attitudes:

1. Go with it. Though the seriousness of your illness is significant under your roof, it isn’t that important to others. And there’s no magical conversation you can have with the person that will make him change his mind. The most likely way your friend will accept that your illness is real, is by observing you. For example, your invisible illness may begin to have some visible side effects. When he sees you struggle to get up out of a chair, don’t comment; just let him take it all in.

2. Grow with it. This situation can be a perfect time to reflect on your own perceptions of people. Have you ever stood in line at the bank and thought yourself, “No one here understands how difficult it is to just stand in this slow line!” But nearly 1 in two people in the USA have a chronic illness, so the chances are high that someone standing beside you does understand. Remember that 96% of illnesses are invisible, so watch your assumptions. What situations are your friends going through that you don’t fully grasp? The affair of a spouse, a baby born with a disability, and the loss of a job, are all experiences that can alter one’s life in an instant. Chances are that your friends can use your support and even empathy.

3. Get over it. It is easy to obsess over the fact that no one understands what your daily chronic pain is like. Save yourself a lot of grief and don’t do it. We would all like a loved one to be able to slip inside are skin for twenty-four hours, but this level of understanding of our disease will never occur. If you began to resent people who don’t understand, soon all your friendships will be tainted. Do not take a friend’s lack of empathy personally, even though it feels personal. You cannot change someone’s mind; you can only control your own behavior, so make certain you have conversations that you won’t regret.

4. Get on with it. Life is precious and short and no material things in your life can replace friends and family. It is true that the intimacy level in your relationship will not ever be high if your illness is not at least believed to exist. But if you still want a relationship, and it’s a healthy one in other ways, it can happen.

The odds are, at some point in your friend’s life, a health issue will occur and suddenly he will have a glimpse into what your life is like. Allow him to feel comfortable coming to you for support and encouragement and don’t use the opportunity to say, “I told you so.”

Go with it. Grow with it. Get over it. Get on with it.

Is it possible to have relationships with people who don’t understand the seriousness of your illness? Yes. Accept him for what he is able to give, and know when to back off if the relationship becomes destructive to your emotional state. Have reasonable expectations. In time, this may end up being one of your closest friendships.

Lisa Copen is the founder of Rest Ministries and National Invisible Chronic illness Awareness Week, as well as the author of Why Can’t I Make People Understand? Chronic illness doesn’t have to be depressing! Subscribe to receive daily emailed encouragement from the largest Christian outreach for people with illness. Don’t miss Rest Ministries great books and gifts we’ve selected for people coping with illness.

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Conf Workshops

ABOUT THE WEEK

• Programs will occur M-F, September 13-17, 10:30 – 12 PACIFIC time; 12:30-2 PM CENTRAL TIME; 1:30 PM – 3 PM EASTERN TIME – Find a time converter here if you do not live in the USA.
• You listen to them live on your computer or can listen later. They will automatically go to itunes too if you wish to download them your ipod of MP3 player.
• To listen, click here InvisibleIllnessConference.com and turn up your speakers. If it is the right time, the program will start playing immediately.

YOUR HOST

Lisa Copen is the founder of Rest Ministries, the largest Christian organization that specifically serves the chronically ill. She has authored nine books, including resources for over 300 HopeKeepers groups, a small group program of Rest Ministries. Through various sources including National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week, which she started in 2002, she seeks to encourage churches to increase an outreach to the chronically ill nearly 1 in 2 people in the U.S. Lisa’s works have been published in a variety of periodicals and books and she has been a guest of radio programs Decision Today, Family Life and Joni and Friends. She is a sought-after speaker who brings joy and humor, as well as hope, to those who are suffering or live with chronic illness.

Lisa resides in San Diego with her husband and 7-year-old son, and has lived with degenerative rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia since 1993. She will be hosting the programs for Invisible Illness Week out of her home office.

MONDAY – SEPTEMBER 13, 2010

LIVING WITH INVISIBLE ILLNESS, WHY IT HURTS, HOW TO COPE

Georgia Shaffer is a licensed psychologist in Pennsylvania and a certified life coach. For over 15 years, she has enhanced people’s lives by teaching how to identify: “What needs to grow? What needs to go?” She is also is on the teaching staff of the Christian Leaders, Authors & Speakers Seminar (CLASS) and Personality Plus. She has great insight into why we do what we do, which she has shared in her books and will be sharing with us!

Author and speaker Maureen Pratt lives with multiple illnesses, including organ-involved lupus, cardiovascular disease, osteoarthritis, hypothyroidism, and chronic back pain. Through her books, including “Peace in the Storm: Meditations on Chronic Pain & Illness,” articles, and talks, she encourages others to deepen their faith and Christian walk in spite of and with living with chronic illness.

Mary Yerkes is a professional life coach who specializes in working with the chronically ill. Diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis and other autoimmune diseases in 1997, Mary combines years of practical experience with her professional training to help the chronically ill build meaningful and significant lives, of which illness is only a part. She is also an author and speaker. To learn more about Coach Mary and the services she offers, visit www.newlifechristiancoaching.com .

TUESDAY – SEPTEMBER 14, 2010

RELATIONSHIPS

Allison Bottke is the woman behind God Allows U-Turns and now Setting Boundaries. Do you have an adult child who is breaking your heart? An aging parent taking up your whole life? A problem with food? Allison’s resources can help you discover SANITY and take back your life. Between books and support groups around the country, Allison is one who has “been there” and knows it’s hard to set boundaries, but necessary for your own sanity!

Pam Farrel is a relationship specialist, international speaker, and author of over 30 books including best-selling Men are like Waffles, Women are like Spaghetti which she wrote with her husband, Bill. Bill and Pam are frequent guests on radio and television including Focus on the Family, where their interviews with Dr. Dobson were ranked Top 10.  She is the founder and President of Seasoned Sisters, a ministry to women 40-65.

Cheryl Ricker is the author of the new book, Friend in the Storm, which is a collection of poems she wrote to a friend who was coping with cancer. She shares about her childhood, “I thought everybody was staring at me through big critical eyes. My self-consciousness affected my confidence which affected my relationships. Insecurity was my gift that kept on giving. So what did I do? I wrote poetry to process the pain of childhood rejection. It was as if some part of my restless brain knew the power of poetry to reach the broken places.”

WEDNESDAY – SEPTEMBER 15, 2010

GETTING ORGANIZED AND TIME MANAGEMENT

Karen Whiting, a freelance writer and author of ten Secrets of Success for Women: Time. Her more than 400 articles and devotions have been published in over four-dozen magazines including Brio magazine, Focus on the Family, Today’s Christian Women, Reminisce, and Devo-Zine.

Marcia Ramsland, entertaining media guest expert, speaker, and professional organizer, is well known as “The Organizing Pro” for her practical tips and clever solutions in homes and offices. She appears non national radio and TV, and her tips in national magazines like Better Homes and Gardens, Woman’s Day, and Real Simple magazines. Marcia is the author of the popular “Simplify for Success” book series, Simplify Your Life, Simplify Your Time, Simplify Your Space, Simplify Your Holidays Ages and Stages of Getting Children Organized and booklet. Marcia has a daughter that got Fibromyalgia at age 17 and knows well what it’s like to have an invisible illness in the home.

PARENTING

Jill Hart is the founder of Christian Work at Home Moms and the author of co-author of So You Want To Be a Work-At-Home Mom. She graduated from Grace University with a Bachelor’s Degree in Human Development/Family Studies and Bible. Jill has worked from home since 2000 and started her own home-based business to assist other Christians who desire to work from home while maintaining a godly life. Jill and her husband, Allen of CWAHD.com (Christian Work at Home Dads) reside in Nebraska with their two children. Jill also lives with a chronic illness.

Kelly Young is the mother five of children, two of whom are severely hearing impaired. She has homeschooled for 17 years, led parenting classes, taught many Bible studies and Adult Sunday School classes, and mentored others. Kelly has lived with autoimmune diseases most of her life and has several diagnoses, including RA. She is author of the website Rheumatoid Arthritis Warrior and the moderator of an uplifting Facebook group with about 5,300 members. Kelly encourages others to fight their disease and trust God for help and hope. Kelly lives on Florida’s Space Coast and is an avid fan of Church liturgy, NASA, and NFL football.
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Christine Miserandino is a writer, speaker, patient advocate, wife and mother living in Massapequa Park, NY. Christine is the founder of www.butyoudontlooksick.com, a website that provides resources and useful tips for living life to the fullest with a chronic illness. Her writing which has won various awards has been featured in numerous newspapers, magazines, medical newsletters and television media. She has been living with lupus for over 15 years, and has been volunteering for the Lupus Alliance, Long Island/ Queens Affiliate for 12 years.

THURSDAY – SEPTEMBER 16, 2010

EXPLAINING INVISIBLE ILLNESSES

Wayne Connell is the president of the Invisible Disabilities Association which he founded with his wife Sherri. Wayne’s desire to help others who struggle with disabilities has become a passion for him. He obtained a BA in Television and radio broadcasting in 1990. We will be talking with him about invisible illnesses and also the role he fills as husband and caregiver.

GIRL TALK – HOW CONNECTING WITH OTHERS HELPS US ALL

Jenni Prokopy is founder and editrix of ChronicBabe.com , an online resource for young women with chronic illness. An award-winning writer, speaker, and expert on healthy living, she shares her personal experience – and rallies the expertise of hundreds of others – to help women live beyond their illness and be total Babes.
Her writing has appeared in numerous publications, and she has worked with dozens of organizations large and small, local and multinational, to create compelling messages that empower people to work better, play harder. . .and be their best.

Kerri Sparling is the founder of 6 Until Me, one of the largest patient blogs for those with diabetes. She is married to a “frantically funny, sharp-witted, and brilliant man who is both handsome and caring.” And  on April 15th, 2010, her daughter joined the Sparling family. She is also a freelance writer and patient advocate.
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Christine Miserandino is a writer, speaker, patient advocate, wife and mother living in Massapequa Park, NY. Christine is the founder of www.butyoudontlooksick.com, a website that provides resources and useful tips for living life to the fullest with a chronic illness. Her writing which has won various awards has been featured in numerous newspapers, magazines, medical newsletters and television media. She has been living with lupus for over 15 years.

FRIDAY – SEPTEMBER 17, 2010

CAREER, WORKING, STARTING OWN BIZ

Rosalind Joffe built on her own experience of living with chronic illnesses for 30 years, including multiple sclerosis and ulcerative colitis, when she founded cicoach.com. This career coaching firm is dedicated to helping professionals with chronic illness develop the skills they need to succeed in their careers. Rosalind Joffe is a recognized national expert on chronic illness and its impact on career. She is the co-author of Women, Work and Autoimmune Disease: Keep Working, Girlfriend!

Jennie Krogulski is the founder of Hilton Head Nannies. Despite living with a chronic illness, she has started a successful business and will share some of her best tips.
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Trish Robichaud is a Maximum Life & Healthy Relationship Coach who lives with multiple sclerosis & major depression. She teaches women living with chronic illness or disability how to build the confidence necessary to establish effective communication, set comfortable boundaries and nurture trust in their loving relationships. Download her free motivational audio at ChangingPaces.com.

IN CLOSING

LISA AND TWILA FOR THE LAST HALF HOUR – CALL WITH YOUR COMMENTS!

Twila Belk is the “Gotta Tell Somebody Gal” and her family has experienced its share of invisible illnesses. Her energetic, passionate joy in life is sure to encourage you as we sign off for the week.

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Should I Feel Guilty When I Have a Good Day?

By Tiffany Christensen

Is joy salt in the wound or hope for tomorrow?

Before writing this, I wanted to look up the definition for the term “mindfulness.” It is language I am using more often and the basis for this blog entry. However, it took me seconds (via google and wikipedia) to learn the term has many meanings and I could not find a definition for how I use it personally. Hmmm. Did I make it up and all this time I have been misusing this term?

Either way, mindfulness as I defined it somewhere, somehow, along the way is being aware of oneself (internal and external awareness) while also being aware of how one’s actions, speech and thoughts might effect others. For me, this primarily means the people I care about because I feel far to overwhelmed when I consider being mindful of everyone on planet earth!

So, with this approach in mind, I find myself with a question for my blogging friends.

There are so many people in my life who are suffering. Many of them are friends I don’t know IRL (in real life) but their struggles permeate my thoughts often despite the lack of physical presence. In addition, people in my RL are struggling in a variety of ways. Primarily I am referring to physical struggle, serious illness etc, but at times this can mean emotional struggling also.

More and more, I find myself feeling a compulsion to hide or downplay the sweet parts of my life. It is not that I don’t have struggles, I do, but they pale in comparison to the people I know living day to day for another breath.

This compulsion comes from a place of “mindfulness” as I define it. It seems hurtful to me to sing the praises of my life when I know others are suffering so. I feel as though I should keep any of my good fortune to myself out of respect to those who are sad, scared and hurting.

I suppose I have some silly notion that when everyone is “all better” and the suffering is gone, I will again shout from the rooftops my love of this life. But, of course, the suffering will never end. One person will recover and another will suffer. This is life. One day the suffering will be mine again.

So, am I ridiculous? Can you relate? Am I on to something or out of my mind?

When you are suffering, do you like to hear of the joy in other’s lives or is it like adding insult to injury?

Should I follow this instinct I have and practice my made up version of mindfulness or should I share my happiness even with those who currently suffer?

What do you think?

After spending over 30 years in and out of hospitals, Tiffany Christensen realized that she had a lot of practice at being a patient! After getting her first lung transplant for cystic fibrosis, she found herself waking up in ICU with another set of donor lungs only 4 years later. She is the author of “Sick Girls Speaks” and “We are the Change: Transforming the Healthcare Experience through Partnership”, a speaker and a patient blogger at Sick Girl Speaks.

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Did You Know This is…. PAINWeek?

What in the world is PAINWeek and why “celebrate” it?

PAINWeek is the national pain conference for frontline clinicians. The collective goal and vision of PAINWeek is to disseminate knowledge and tools to frontline clinicians who are faced with treating the majority of patients in pain.

PAINWeek is the only national pain conference that has been developed to meet the educational needs of physicians, nursing professionals, physician assistants, dentists, pharmacists, psychologists, and podiatrists.

PAINWeek offers a diverse curriculum and multidisciplinary faculty who will present courses in the following areas: addiction, complementary & alternative medicine, geriatrics, health coaching, hypnosis, medical/legal, narcoterrorism, neurology, pain & chemical dependency, palliative care, pediatrics, pharmacology, physical medicine & rehabilitation, primary care, regional pain syndromes, and rheumatology.

Melanie Thernstrom, author of the book that was released just this month, The Pain Chronicles: Cures, Myths, Mysteries, Prayers, Diaries, Brain Scans, Healing, and the Science of Suffering, will be the keynote speaker.

Though you may not be a professional who needs any more knowledge of pain. . . it’s good to know what is out there and when you are speaking to your physician about Invisible Illness Week or other awareness events, it’s always nice to pass along a brochure from an event such as PAINWeek to them that is planned for them specifically.

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Invisible Illness Week Joins American Pain Foundation to Endorse the Virtual March on Washington

September is Pain Awareness Month. Pain affects more Americans than diabetes, heart disease and cancer combined, and is a leading cause of disability in the United States. Yet, it remains woefully undertreated and misunderstood, resulting in needless suffering .

This September, the National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week campaign is joining with the American Pain Foundation to endorse the Virtual March on Washington to raise awareness about the barriers to accessing appropriate and effective pain management and the desperate need to improve pain care for all Americans.

Go to www.painfoundation.org/virtualmarch to participate in the march.

Opportunities to engage include:  writing your legislator, watching condition specific videos, chatting with others affected by pain and adding your voice to the 10,000 Voices campaign. You can also use resources in the PAM Advocacy Toolkit to host an event in your local community or get tips and templates for writing a letter to the editor. Go to www.APFActionNetwork.org to see how. Tell YOUR story. Join us to create change!

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“What do you do?” Explaining About Your Invisible Illness and Career or Lack of It (Or Do You Need to?)

This discussion comes up every time someone asks you “What do you do” or every time a person with invisible illness describes his or her life.

The conversation often becomes weird and strained, but that’s to be expected, given that the person’s real illness is not being recognized.

For example, imagine a cancer patient if cancer were not recognized as a “real disease” and people kept asking why the person had lost his or her hair and was falling behind at work. Imagine someone with type 1 diabetes who was told they just needed to drink less water and they would be fine.

Injustices of this sort happen every day to people with invisible illness, because as in these hypothetical cases, misunderstanding and invalidation occur when people are unaware of the reality of a disease. However, being straightforward and just saying what comes to mind is not always the way to go, because of a few factors:

• Listeners might have a hard time understanding how much invisible illness can affect a person’s abilities, including mental and emotional abilities. This society seems to think that the body cannot influence the brain; only the brain can influence the body.
• Between psychiatric ideas about psychosomatic illness, “memes” about people who just thought they were sick but they needed to get out more, and propaganda about CFS and fibromyalgia being “yuppie” illnesses that are purely “psychological,” people might be primed to think that invisible illnesses are not “real” diseases.
• There might be communication difficulties. “Fatigue” means different things to different people. “Irritability” can range from snapping at someone to kicking a hole in the door.
• After being in an illness support community, the sick person might incorrectly assume that healthy outsiders are aware of the basic assumptions and knowledge shared by everyone in the illness community.
• Lastly, dynamics with people close to oneself (family, friends, partners) can be intense and fraught. These people might be directly affected by one’s symptoms and inabilities, and you deal with them often so their attitudes toward you will affect you and perhaps your recovery. Thus, it is especially important to communicate effectively with these people, for your well-being and theirs.

-DON’T say “I can’t work because of illness ” when someone in public you don’t know well asks “What do you do?”

This is like a very bad chess move. What are people supposed to say to it, except for “That’s a bummer” or “Explain this to me, since you look fine to me.”

Then the conversation becomes about how your life is depressing or about defending your assertion that you can’t work despite the fact that you look alright.

This conversation will not go well, because people who have not been touched by invisible illness tend to have a hard time understanding that someone could be physically able to get dressed and leave the house on one occasion but not be able to do productive work in a regular job.

-DO have a quick answer for whenever someone asks you “What do you do?”

People don’t really care how you fund your living expenses (or if they do they are weird). Instead, they are probably asking, “Let’s talk about you” or “What type of person are you?” or “What might we have in common?” Unless they are going to ask a lot of details, they don’t even need to know that you don’t make money.

You could spin your life however you want. Some snappy answers:

• I have _(chronic illness)_ and treating it takes a lot of time, and it took me a lot of energy to make it to this _(party/event/outing)_ but I am glad to be seeing some other people and enjoying myself here.
• I was doing great in life with X and Y, but then I got felled by this awful disease and now it’s all I can do to make it out a few times a week like this. But I’m still interested in Z.
• Well, the last time I was able to work I was a _(career)_, but due to unpredictable health I have not been able to work since _(time)_, but I am still interested in _(topic)_.
• Oh, I’m a _(career)_. I have to work (from home/part time) and I can’t take on too much because I have a chronic illness, but I still manage to do something.

-DON’T explain exactly why you can’t work.

The reasons might not make sense to the listener, and if you mention any cognitive or nervous system symptoms, you might make yourself look even weirder (Many people have a hard time believing that illness can affect the brain nervous system, since we tend to think that these things are “us” and not our bodies).

Also, offering specific reasons why you can’t work (hard to leave the house, hard to concentrate) triggers some people into wanting to solve your problem by thinking of creative ways to get around your limitations. For example:

A: I can’t work because I can’t leave the house.

B: But could you work from home?

A: No, I’m too tired and I can’t concentrate.

B: But couldn’t you do a mindless job?

A: No, I don’t know of any such jobs that aren’t scams that I could obtain and hold without being fired.

B: But you’re talking to me now, so you could talk on the phone?

A: Forget it, this is going nowhere.

-DO explain that many tasks which are easier than work are prohibitively hard for you.

When trying to explain your situation to someone who needs to know, like a friend or family member, you might mention if you have a hard time: leaving the house, driving, bathing, cooking, standing up, etc.

This shows the person that you are already pushing yourself in your life as it is. Just because it would take no effort for THEM to live as you are living (not working) doesn’t mean that it does not take substantial effort for YOU to live as you are living (if you are doing any self-care, treatment research, anything around the house, etc.).

Dr. Larry Sharp of Fort Worth, TX uses an excellent fatigue questionnaire for assessing fatigue in his patients. Instead of just asking “How tired are you from 1 to 10″ it asked how often fatigue interferes with doing a variety of activities. It was shocking to see it there on paper how much fatigue was affecting my ability to do very basic activities.

If anyone questions the level of your illness and fatigue, you might make a chart for them showing from 1 to 5 or 1 to 10 how often your symptoms interfere with each of a few dozen daily activities.

-DO explain how you already do many things that are a challenge for you.

Maybe the listener doesn’t realize that you are already pushing yourself quite a lot.

You could mention:

• Merely talking with you right now is a challenge for me and I will need to rest afterward.
• Doing my own treatment research and managing my treatment is more than I think I can do, but I am doing it because no one else can do it for me.
• I don’t feel up to traveling or cooking, but I do them anyway because I have to go to appointments, eat, etc.
• DON’T assume that your life will make sense to other people the way it makes sense to you.

You might have had your chronic illness for years and you might be used to it. But things you see as no big deal might seem awful to someone who is hearing about them for the first time.

Even with family or friends who see you often, don’t assume that they will understand how certain symptoms aren’t a big deal to you OR that certain issues are much worse than they sound.

-DO make it clear that besides the parts you can’t change, your life is alright, and you are handling things well.

Even if you feel sick much of the time, can’t work, miss out on things, and so forth, you still might be handling your situation in a nearly optimal way.

It’s a fallacy to think that if someone’s life is bad, they must be doing something wrong. Sometimes situations are simply hard.

Outsiders might not realize how your efforts are already making your life much better than it could be. You might want to make a comparison: If not for X or Y that I am doing, I might be in a worse situation.

-DON’T participate the power dynamic in which the well person is supposed to give advice to the person with invisible illness.

In the past, if someone asked, “Are you getting out enough?” or “I think you should be doing X,” I would try to defend myself, saying, “I’m already doing something similar to that,” or “You know you’re right, I should do that more.” I took a deferential position, as though they knew what they were talking about and I didn’t. If things were going well for them but not for me, I should listen to their advice, right?

Wrong. It’s a common misconception that well people can and should offer advice to sick people. Being well does not necessarily mean that a person is doing things well in their life; nor does being sick imply that a person is making bad choices. If a person’s life is hard or if they are unhealthy, it does not necessarily mean they are doing anything wrong. Perhaps they were simply unfortunate.

-DO (perhaps) forestall judgment by anticipating it.

If you say early in the encounter, “I know it has to seem to you like I’m not making enough of my life or not getting out enough, but I’m truly doing what’s best for me and the most I can do,” then the listener might give pause before suggesting the very idea you’ve just said is not true.

Sometimes, this will even prompt the listener to relieve your fears that they think badly of you. They might respond, “Of course I don’t think that! I actually think you’re doing a great job and I’m impressed.”

-DO compare your situation favorably to how things used to be or how things would be.

This makes it into a success story: “I had this problem or was in danger of experiencing these bad things, but then I used my ingenuity or was blessed with fortunate circumstances that make my life much better.”

A success story is usually a good piece of conversation (“Oh, that’s wonderful,”) or else a conversation-ender, since the problem is already solved and contained. Either way, portraying your current life as a success story helps you to avoid unwanted advice.

For example:

• I used to have no idea what was wrong with me, but then I got a diagnosis.
• I used to be very isolated by illness, but then I joined support groups and started keeping up with old friends.
• And a good one for closing: I used to feel bad when people thought I should work or get out more, but then I read this article and now I can respond with confidence.”

Andrea Runyan is a writer in Boston, Massachusetts. She studied math and biology at Stanford University, graduating with a Bachelor of Science in Mathematics and at Stanford, she wrote an opinion column for four editions of The Stanford Daily. She is currently writing a book about communicating with friends and family about chronic or invisible illness. See her blog at Andrea Runyan

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Our Favorite Resources! Associations, Foundations, and More!

This is a list we put together with some of our favorite organizations. If you have one you would like added, leave a comment below and we will update the list soon.

(This collection of links is copyrighted. Please don’t copy and paste it to your web site.)

• Advocacy for Neuroacanthocytosis Patients http://www.naadvocacy.org/
• Advocacy for Patients with Chronic Illness, Inc http://www.advocacyforpatients.org/
• Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality www.ahrq.gov
• Alliance of State Pain Initiatives http://www.aspi.wisc.edu
• American Academy of Hospice and Palliative Medicine http://www.aahpm.org
• American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons http://www.aaos.org
• American Academy of Pain Management http://www.aapainmanage.org
• American Academy of Pain Medicine http://www.painmed.org
• American Arthritis Society http://www.americanarthritis.org
• American Autoimmune Related Diseases Association http://AARDA.org
• American Behcet’s Disease Association http://behcets.com
• American Cancer Society http://www.cancer.org/docroot/home/index.asp
• American Celiac Society http://www.williamshaffer.org/acs/about.htm
• American Chronic Pain Association http://www.theacpa.org
• American College of Physicians http://www.acofp.org
• American College of Rheumatology http://www.rheumatology.org
• American Diabetes Association http://www.diabetes.org
• American Fibromyalgia Syndrome Association http://www.afsafund.org
• American Geriatrics Society http://www.americangeriatricssociety.org
• American Headache Society http://americanheadachesociety.org
• American Lyme Disease Foundation http://www.aldf.com
• American Medical Association http://www.ama-assn.org
• American Osteopathic Association http://www.do-online.org
• American Pain Foundation http://www.painfoundation.org
• American Pain Society http://www.ampainsoc.org
• American Society of Anesthesiologists http://www.asahq.org
• American Society of Interventional Pain Physicians http://www.asipp.org
• American Society of Law, Medicine and Ethics http://www.aslme.org
• American Society of Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation http://www.aapmr.org
• American Society of Regional Pain Management http://www.asra.com
• Amputee Coalition of America http://www.amputee-coalition.org
• Arthritis Foundation http://www.arthritis.org
• Association of Gastrointestinal Motility Disorders, Inc.http://www.agmd-gimotility.org/
• Association of Oncology Social Work http://www.aosw.org
• Autoimmune Information Network http://www.aininc.org
• BAMS http://www.bandagainstms.org
• Band Against MS-Clay Walker http://www.bandagainstms.org
• Band-Aids and Blackboards http://www.lehman.cuny.edu/faculty/jfleitas/bandaides/
• Beyond Chronic Pain http://www.beyondchronicpain.com
• Board Certified.com directory of those board certified physicians who wish to present an elevated Internet presence to the patient community http://Board Certified.com
• Bridge Medical http://mederrors.com
• But You Don’t Look Sick http://butyoudontlooksick.com
• Caring Bridge http://caringbridge.org
• C-Cange (cancer focus) http://www.c-changetogether.org
• CFIDs Association of American http://www.cfids.org/
• Celiac Sprue Association http://csaceliacs.org
• Centers for Disease Control and Preventionhttp://www.cdc.gov
• Center for Medical Consumerswww.medicalconsumers.org
• Chron’s Adventure http://CrohnsAdventures.org
• ChronicBabe http://chronicababe.com
• Citizens for Patient Safety http://citizensforpatientsafety.org/
• Compassionate Friends – coping with death of child http://compassionatefriends.org
• Conquering Chiari http://www.conquerchiari.org
• ConsumerLab http://ConsumerLab.com
• Consumer Health Information Corporationwww.consumer-health.com
• Consumers Advancing Patient Safety (CAPS) www.patientsafety.org
• Empowered Patient Coalition http://empoweredpatientcoalition.org
• Diabetic Mommy http://www.diabeticmommy.com
• DiagKNOWsis http://www.diagknowsis.org/
• Digestive Disease National Coalition http://www.ddnc.org
• Disabled American Veterans http://www.dav.org
• Dysautonomia Foundation http://www.familialdysautonomia.org
• Dysautonomia Information Network http://www.dinet.org
• Dystonia Medical Research Foundation http://www.dystonia-foundation.org
  
• Ehler-Danlos National Foundation (connective tissue disorder) http://www.ednf.org
• Every Patient’s Advocate – Trisha Torrey http://healthcarespeaker.org/
• Facial Pain Association http://fpa-support.org
• Fibromyalgia http://www.fmaware.org
• For Grace http://www.forgrace.org – Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy
• Healing Well http://healingwell.com
• Health & Disability Advocates http://hdadvocates.org
• Health Grades http://www.healthgrades.com
• Hereditary Neuropathy with liability to Pressure Palsies http://www.hnpp.org
• Hospice Patients Alliancehttp://hospicepatients.org
• Hospice Foundation of America http://www.hospicefoundation.org
• IDEAS Kids – Intestinal Diseases http://ideaskids.com
• IDF: Immune Deficiency Foundation, www.primaryimmune.org
• IG Living Magazine – Immune Gobulin http://www.igliving.com
• Institute for Safe Medication Practices http://www.ismp.org/
• Intercultural Cancer Council http://www.iccnetowork.org
• International Association for Hospice and Palliative Care http://www.hospicecare.com
• International Association for the Study of Pain http://www.iasp-pain.org
• International Foundation for Functional Gastrointestinal Disorders (IBS) http://www.aboutibs.org
• International Stills Disease Foundation http://stillsdisease.org
• InvisABLE Illness http://www.invisableillness.com/
• Invisible Disabilities Association http://ida.org
• Joni and Friends http://joniandfriends.org
• Lance Armstrong Foundation http://www.livestrong.org
• Life Without Limbs http://lifewithoutlimbs.org
• Lung Cancer Alliance http://www.lungcanceralliance.org
• Lung Transplant Foundation http://lungtransplantfoundation.org
• Lupus Foundation of America, Inc. http://www.lupus.org
• Magic Foundation www.magicfoundation.org
• Maryland Pain Initiative http://www.marylandpaininitiative.org
• Mayo Clinoic http://www.mayoclinic.com
• Mastocytosis Society http://www.tmsforacure.org/
• Medically Induced Trauma Support Services (MITSS) www.mitss.org
• Medicarehttp://www.medicare.gov/
• Medline Plus Health Informationhttp://medlineplus.gov/
• Medscape http://www.medscape.com/home
• Medwatch – the FDA Safety Information and Adverse Event Reporting Program http://www.fda.gov/medwatch/index.html
• Mental Health Ministries www.MentalHealthMinistries.net.
• Myasthenia Gravis Foundation of America http://www.myasthenia.org
• Mastocytosis Society www.tmsforacure.org
• National Alliance for Mental Illness http://nami.org
• National Coalition for Cancer Survivorship http://www.canceradvocacy.org
• National Comprehensive Cancer Network http://www.nccn.org
• National Family Caregivers Association http://www.nfcacares.org
• National Fibromyalgia Association http://www.fmaware.org
• National Headache Association http://www.headaches.org
• National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization http://www.nhpco.org
• National Institutes of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID) http://www3.niaid.nih.gov/topics/lymeDisease
• National Institute of Arthritis and Metabolic Diseases (NIAMD) http://www.niams.nih.gov
• National Institutes of Health (NIH)http://health.nih.gov/
• National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week http://InvisibleIllnessWeek.com
• National Kidney Foundation http://www.kidney.org
• National Multiple Sclerosis Society http://www.nationalmssociety.org
• National Necrotizing Fasciitis Foundation http://www.nnff.org
• National Organization for Rare Disorders http://www.rarediseases.org
• National Ovarian Cancer Coalition http://www.ovarian.org
• National Pain Foundation http://www.nationalpainfoundation.org
• National Patient Advocate Foundation http://www.npaf.org
• National Prostate Cancer Coalition http://www.fightprostatecancer.org
• National Stroke Association http://www.stroke.org
• National Vulvodynia Association http://www.nva.org
• National Women’s Health Resource Center http://www.healthywomen.org
• Pain.com-for professionals and patients http://www.pain.com
• PainPathways.org http://www.painpathways.org
• Pain Relief Network http://painreliefnetwork.org
• PAINWeek http://www.painweek.org/
• Pancreatic Cancer Action Network http://www.pancan.org
• Partners Against Pain http://www.partnersagainstpain.com
• Patient Advocate Foundation http://www.patientadvocate.org
• Patients Like Me http://patientslikeme.com
• Pharmacy Checker http://PharmacyChecker.com
• Power of Pain Foundation http://www.powerofpain.org
• Power Over Your Pain http://www.poweroveryourpain.com
• Prevent Cancer Council http://www.preventcancer.org
• PSC Partners Seeking a Cure http://www.pscpartners.org/
• QuackWatch http://www.quackwatch.org
• Race Against Pain http://www.RaceAgainstPain.com
• Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Syndrome Association http://www.rsds.org
• Rest Ministries Chronic Illness Pain Support http://restministries.com
• Saracoma Foundation of America http://www.curesarcoma.org
• Sceptor Pain Foundation http://www.sceptor.org
• Scleroderma Foundation http://www.scleroderma.org/
• Sickel Cell Disease http://www.sicklecelldisease.org
• Spondylitis Association of America http://www.spondylitis.org/
• Susan G. Komen for the Cure http://www.komen.org
• Texas Pain Society http://texaspain.org
• The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society http://www.leukemia-lymphoma.org
• The National Foundation for the Treatment of Pain http://www.paincare.org
• The National Migraine Association http://www.migranes.org
• The National Pain Foundation http://www.nationalpainfoundation.org
• The Prostate Net http://www.prostate-online.org
• United Spinal Association http://www.unitedspinal.org/
• United States Bone and Joint Decade http://www.usbjd.org
• Voice 4 Patients information and resources for those who have been victimized by healthcare error http://www.voice4patients.com/
• WEGO Health Activists http://community.wegohealth.com/
• Wilson’s Disease Association http://www.wilsonsdisease.org/
• World Institute of Pain http://www.worldinstituteofpain.org

INTERNATIONAL________________

• Asociacion Argentina para el Estudio del Dolor http://www.aaedolor.org.ar
• Associazione Italiana per lo Studio del Dolore http://www.aisd.it
• Australian Pain Society http://www.apsoc.org.au/interest.html
• British Pain Society http://www.britishpainsociety.org/
• Canadian Pain Society http://www.canadianpaincoalition.ca
• Egyptian Pain Society http://www.egyptianpainsociety.org
• European Federation of IASP Chapters http://www.efic.org
• Turkish Society of Algology http://www.algoloji.org.tr

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