Listen to Invisible Illness Week Workshops Any Time for Encouragement

Did you happen to make some of our podcast seminars during National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week? We had some amazing guests as our panelists who contributed to a successful week of inspiration, information, and education.

One of my favorite emails from of listener that I just received this weekend says:

“I listened to the broadcast on Monday. I cried through the whole thing. I listened to it a few more times because I missed too much (crying). I felt so validated for the first time in 5 years. It doesn’t matter that my disease is a 1 in 200,000 what was discussed was common to all. I have no idea the hours of labor you put into the week or the finances or the physical cost to your body that such an undertaking had but I know it had to be great. I just want you to know that your labors made a difference. . . Just learning that what I feel is common to all who suffer with chronic illness made me realize that though I sometimes feel like I am isolated God is right there with me every step.”

Wow. Tears came to my eyes as I read her entire email (this is just a portion above) and then I printed it out and read it to my husband.

To all of you who helped me make this week possible, thank you.

Now. . . head on over to Invisible Illness Week podcasts at Blog Talk Radio to get some more encouragement. You may even find an episoide from 2008 or 2009 that strikes a chord with you too! You can also find our Invisible Illness Week programs in the Apple itunes store for free if you want to download them to your ipod.

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How to Decide Your Career Future When Chronically Ill

By Jennie Krogulski

Most of us with a debilitating chronic illness, if asked, would admit that as we traveled along the journey of life, we never saw this train called “Limitations” coming and if we had, we certainly would moved heaven and earth to get out of the way. As children we dreamed of what our lives would hold and who we would be, encouraged by those who loved us to dream big and wide. But what do you do when the life you have so carefully been creating and carving out begins to fall apart around you because of your illness?

What happens when you are no longer able to hold down a job five days a week, so you go to four, then three, and then even two becomes too much.

I was there four years ago and it was the scariest and loneliest time of my life. After twelve years of being sick, I could no longer manage many of the simplest tasks of daily living, which included holding down a steady job. Eventually, my disease, which was undiagnosed at the time, progressed to the point that I was unable to hold my arms above my head for five seconds at a time or walk more than a few hundred feet.

However, mounting medical bills and household bills still had to be paid. After pushing my body to it’s limits—I finally conceded that I had no choice but to recreate my lifestyle and find a way to work from home.

While some may see this as a luxury, for many with chronic illness it is the only way we can survive. What and how recreating your lifestyle looks like will be dependent on many factors:

• Your current field of work: Is it suitable for a work-at-home environment?
• Your relationship with your employer: Are they flexible?
• The way your home is set up: Do you have room to work from home?
• Your financial situation: Do you have funds set back to start up a small business if needed?
• Access to equipment: Do you have a dependable computer/laptop, printer, phone, etc.?
• Your abilities: What are your talents, gifts, and skills that you could use to start a small business from home that would work with your physical limitations?

Once you have carefully taken all these factors into consideration, you can begin putting a plan into place that works for you and your family. As you recreate your lifestyle, the challenges you live with on a daily basis won’t go away—but they will become more bearable. When your body is wracked with pain, you can work in your pajamas propped up in a cushiony bed. Instead of sitting at a desk in an office chair all day, you can create a “desk” space around a sofa that is more comfortable with a laptop and a laptop stand.

I started transitioning into this change in 2005, and made the permanent lifestyle change in 2007 when I opened my business, Hilton Head Nannies. Having a chronic illness and living with daily challenges, pain, and limitations certainly isn’t the life I signed up for when I dreamed about my future as a child long ago. However, I am a firm believer that there is a purpose in every serious/chronic illness and a story to be told as God’s plan unfolds. I am still learning to embrace God’s plan for my life. Each day as I turn to Him and ask for His help in recreating my lifestyle, I am finding joy, peace, and hope that break through the disease and pain and make me dream like a child again.

God bless you as you pray about what He has in store for you! Jeremiah 29:11 says “For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’”

Jennie Krogulski resides in beautiful Bluffton SC, just off the coast of Hilton Head Island. She lives with Dermatomyositis, Fibromyalgia, Toxoplasmosis, Hypothyroidism, and an iron absorption disorder. Jennie owns Hilton Head Nannies, a national placement agency, and most recently started a social services agency—Lowcountry Family Connections. Jennie delights in spending time with family & friends, and being “Jen Jen” to the many children in her life.

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The Invisible Woman

I’m smiling.
What else can you see?
Probably nothing.
Because you can’t see past it.

I should probably not complain that I’m living with an invisible illness. As much as I hate it, I also help perpetuate the term invisible. I don’t usually let people see past the smile because they’ll see the real me and I hate appearing weak. I also don’t want them to see what I deal with. It’s a double edged sword. It’s an invisible illness because you can look absolutely perfect while hiding a great deal of pain and it’s also invisible because we don’t want people to judge us. We get enough of that from doctors, we are afraid we’ll also get it from everyone else.

What you don’t see is the pain that starts the minute I open my eyes. I know what is going to happen the minute I put my feet on the ground. It’s a pain that makes me want to revert to crawling instead of walking. I limp toward the kitchen to make my coffee or tea, whatever my mood is that morning. Mornings are usually pain-filled so I can tell you the mood isn’t real perky. This pain continues throughout the day in varying degrees. The nights are the worst. I spend a lot of time in the bath. After that it’s in bed.

This all started after a nasty car accident in 2008. I was at a full stop and a truck hit me going approximately 25-30 miles an hour. Now, I’m not the type to whine so I was more annoyed than anything else. When the man came up to me and asked me if I was okay, I said I didn’t know. That was the truth. As I sat there it felt like an electric current was running through my body. I shrugged it off because I had things to do. I went through the rest of the year wondering what was happening to me? My back hurt, my body hurt and my memory was fading. Finally, after a year I finally had to stop working at my usual frantic pace and find out what damage was done. I never realized it would be life changing.

One of the biggest adjustments I had to make, and I’m still making, is knowing my limitations. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I’ve never liked limitations. It doesn’t matter if it’s mental challenges, food or speed limits. You notice that physical limitations was not on that list. Nope, it wouldn’t be. I’ve always gone at mach one with my hair on fire and having to learn the cardinal rule of chronic illness has been difficult for me. If you push you will pay. When I have a good day, which isn’t often, I tend to make the most of it. I know, not good. You’d think I’d be getting the hang of it by now, but I haven’t. I still hate what my body has done to me.

I found my voice in blogging which is weird because I’m not real open with people. I’ve always been outgoing but very few ever got to see the “real” me. I am friendly, approachable and empathetic but not in reverse. Then I started to blog and was able to communicate on a truly different and surprising level. It wasn’t scary to have people be able to see into my soul and that has helped me open up in so many areas of my life. I tend to isolate myself because of the pain and with that isolation I’ve left many friends and family by the wayside. I’ve been able to communicate about the pain and depression. Again many things surprise me. I’ve also learned about people that suck the life out of your soul and cut them out. I have too many other things to deal with so they just had to go!

The other adjustment I’ve had to make is in the area of control. I’ve always like to control the environment around me. That’s a huge part of my personality. I’ve always felt that if I can control things then I won’t get any nasty surprises. Well, I didn’t say that it worked I just said I liked to operate that way! I’ve had to accept that I won’t know what I’m dealing with regarding my body on a day to day basis. That means I can plan but plans may change. I’ve had to let go and that isn’t easy for me. So many things haven’t been easy and I’ve had a hard time dealing with that. Fibromyalgia, and any chronic illness for that matter, wreaks havoc. I don’t care whether it’s physical, emotional or financial. It trips a domino in your life that starts with chaos and mayhem in your physical body and continues on until it messes you up emotionally. Then it loves to cause real damage when your financial life you had goes out the window. I know it’s something I have to learn to accept but it’s that darn little word called control. I don’t have it and it makes me crazy.

So it’s 3 a.m. and it’s another night of robbed sleep. I will try to close my eyes but I don’t have high hopes. I’ve taken the muscle relaxers and pain medication but my muscles are still not paying attention to the fact that they’re supposed to calm down. I’ll end this post and turn off the lights and hope beyond hope for a few hours of sleep.

Rosemary Lee lives with fibromyalgia and she tries to find humor in everyday life. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. She says, “I am an analytical dreamer. Oxymoron? I think not.” Visit her blog, Seeking Equilibrium.

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FRIDAY’S 9/17 SEMINAR: Working/Home Business & Closing Half Hour

Can you believe it’s already the end of the week? We hope you’ve been having a great time and have enjoyed the workshops. If you have missed any just a reminder that you can find them all (and the last 2 year’s worth too!) on Blog Talk Radio at http://invisibleillnessconference.com .

Today we have some great speakers to chat with us about working. This includes Rosalind Joffe a career coach for those with chronic illness, Tricia Robichaud who is a coach as well as and a wonderful home-based business; and Jenny Krogulski who has started a business at home matching nannies with families. This is an amazing group of gals we know will encourage you even if you aren’t planning to work or cannot work.

Then, Twila Belk, author herself and assistant to Cecil Murphey will join me to close up the last half hour and she has some joy that will help us end on a beautifully upbeat note.

Career/Working:
* Rosalind Joffe built on her own experience of living with chronic illnesses for 30 years, including multiple sclerosis and ulcerative colitis, when she founded cicoach.com. This career coaching firm is dedicated to helping professionals with chronic illness develop the skills they need to succeed in their careers. Rosalind Joffe is a recognized national expert on chronic illness and its impact on career. She is the co-author of Women, Work and Autoimmune Disease: Keep Working, Girlfriend! Twitter: @WorkWithIllness

Jennie Krogulski is the founder of Hilton Head Nannies. Despite living with a chronic illness, she has started a successful business and will share some of her best tips. Twitter: @HHNannies

Trish Robichaud is a Maximum Life & Healthy Business Coach who lives with multiple sclerosis & major depression. She teaches women living with chronic illness or disability how to honour and accommodate their health while striving to achieving work/life balance and entrepreneurial success through her “Business Beyond Chronic Illness” coaching program. Download her free Optimal Health Kit at ChangingPaces.com. Twitter: @OptmlHealthGuru

LISA AND TWILA FOR THE LAST HALF HOUR – CALL WITH YOUR COMMENTS!

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My Illness No Longer Controls Me

By: Carolyn Matheson, Master Certified Coach

Last Saturday a special friend was having a party and I really wanted to be fit enough to attend. To be able to enjoy good food and company and be able to laugh my head off.

I have lost count of the number of times I have said yes to friends and needed to cancel at the last minute. I recognize today that I have very limited energy and I must use it wisely. I rested the week before and was relieved to feel good the day of the party.

I have become very talented at putting concealing make up so I don’t look unwell. That of course has its downsides but on this day it was important for me to just feel ‘normal’. I had a wonderful time and treasured every minute I spent at the party.

As I look back over the last six years I can see that my life has followed the path it has meant to follow. I have a rare neurological condition for which there is no cure. Any medication I take just alleviates symptoms; today I don’t think of having this illness for a lifetime one day they may find a cure. I spend a week in hospital every 12 weeks but I don’t think about that until the day arrives. I do try and take each day as it comes.

It is taking time for me to heal, not just dealing with a physical illness, it is the emotional toll that is taking the time to acknowledge and work through in my own way. I have had to get used to a whole new way of living.

When I got sick I felt all my power had been stripped away from me. There are times when I have felt very lost. Doctors continue to provide me with all the medical care I need. I couldn’t ask for better doctors than I have right now.

What I found I needed was to make huge adjustments to all parts of my life. Has it been hard? Yes of course it has. I have struggled with my headspace; struggled to make changes. I have found it difficult to cope with everyday life.

I have had to make some different choices. They are just different. I am not grateful I got sick but I am now grateful for the different opportunities that have opened up in my life. My illness no longer controls me.
It is true that my illness has stripped me bare of everything I know today. I can now look back and truthfully say I have come through with so much more. I am still Carolyn but my whole approach to life is now different. I have integrated what I have learnt on the way as a coach with the emotional high and lows of a chronic illness.

Carolyn a Master Certified Coach and founder of People Work Best Ltd, has worked for 30 years with executives and their teams across the world. She now combines her extensive coaching experiences with writing about her own insights in how to deal with a long term and very disabling illness. It is her mission to empower one patient at a time to take charge of their health. As well as offering one to one coaching, Carolyn is also a professional speaker. Contact: carolyn@peopleworkbest.com; twitter @capcoach; blog www.carolynsmatheson.com

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THURSDAY’S 9/16 SEMINAR: [1] Invisible Illness [2] Girl Talk

We have an amazing group of people tomorrow morning and we hope you will join us for day #4 of Invisible Illness Week, September 15, at 10:30 – 12 Pacific time; 12:30-2 PM Central time; or 1:30 PM – 3 PM Eastern time – USA time at http://invisibleillnessconference.com . Remember, if you miss it… it’s okay! It will be archived for ages!

First Wayne, founder of the Invisible Disabilities Advocate will be joining us for the first half an hour to talk about the idea of living with an invisible illness or hiddenn disability. And then we’re going to be joined by some women you just may know: Christine Miserandino, otherwise known as the “Spoon” gal from butyoudontlooksick.com ; Jenny Prokpy of chronicabe.com and Kerri Sparling who is the blogger behind the diabetes blog sixuntilme.com . I hope you will tune in!

Wayne Connell is the president of the Invisible Disabilities Association which he founded with his wife Sherri. Wayne’s desire to help others who struggle with disabilities has become a passion for him. He obtained a BA in Television and radio broadcasting in 1990. We will be talking with him about invisible illnesses and also the role he fills as husband and caregiver. Twitter: @InvDisabilities

Jenni Prokopy is founder and editrix of ChronicBabe.com , an online resource for young women with chronic illness. An award-winning writer, speaker, and expert on healthy living, she shares her personal experience – and rallies the expertise of hundreds of others – to help women live beyond their illness and be total Babes.
Her writing has appeared in numerous publications, and she has worked with dozens of organizations large and small, local and multinational, to create compelling messages that empower people to work better, play harder. . .and be their best. Twitter: @chronicbabe

Kerri Sparling is the founder of 6 Until Me, one of the largest patient blogs for those with diabetes. She is married to a “frantically funny, sharp-witted, and brilliant man who is both handsome and caring.” And on April 15th, 2010, her daughter joined the Sparling family. She is also a freelance writer and patient advocate.Twitter: @sixuntilme

Christine Miserandino is a writer, speaker, patient advocate, wife and mother living in Massapequa Park, NY. Christine is the founder of www.butyoudontlooksick.com, a website that provides resources and useful tips for living life to the fullest with a chronic illness. Her writing which has won various awards has been featured in numerous newspapers, magazines, medical newsletters and television media. She has been living with lupus for over 15 years. Twitter: @bydls

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WEDNESDAY’S 9/15 SEMINAR: [1] Getting Organized [2] Parenting

Day #3 of Invisible Illness Week is tomorrow, so be sure to listen September 15 at 10:30 – 12 Pacific time; 12:30-2 PM Central time; or 1:30 PM – 3 PM Eastern time – USA time at http://invisibleillnessconference.com .

Here are 2 area many of us with illness struggle with – getting organized and parenting! Today’s first half of the program we will be joined by organizing and time management professionals who have both dealt with illness in their own households, so these are not empty suggestions. They may say, “make your bed” but they also know sometimes the energy is better spend doing something else (like eating).

Second half, we are excited to have Jill Hart from Christian Work at Home Moms, and “RA Warrior” who has 5 children! And Christine, the “Spoonie” Gal who is now a mom will be joining us to share her tips too.

Karen Whiting, a freelance writer and author of ten Secrets of Success for Women: Time. Her more than 400 articles and devotions have been published in over four-dozen magazines including Brio magazine, Focus on the Family, Today’s Christian Women, Reminisce, and Devo-Zine. Twitter: @KarenHWhiting

Marcia Ramsland, entertaining media guest expert, speaker, and professional organizer, is well known as “The Organizing Pro” for her practical tips and clever solutions in homes and offices. She appears non national radio and TV, and her tips in national magazines like Better Homes and Gardens, Woman’s Day, and Real Simple magazines. Marcia is the author of the popular “Simplify for Success” book series, Simplify Your Life, Simplify Your Time, Simplify Your Space, Simplify Your Holidays Ages and Stages of Getting Children Organized and booklet. Marcia has a daughter that got Fibromyalgia at age 17 and knows well what it’s like to have an invisible illness in the home. Twitter: @OrganizingPro

Jill Hart is the founder of Christian Work at Home Moms and the author of co-author of So You Want To Be a Work-At-Home Mom. She graduated from Grace University with a Bachelor’s Degree in Human Development/Family Studies and Bible. Jill has worked from home since 2000 and started her own home-based business to assist other Christians who desire to work from home while maintaining a godly life. Jill and her husband, Allen of CWAHD.com (Christian Work at Home Dads) reside in Nebraska with their two children. Jill also lives with a chronic illness. Twitter: @cwahm

Kelly Young is the mother five of children, two of whom are severely hearing impaired. She has homeschooled for 17 years, led parenting classes, taught many Bible studies and Adult Sunday School classes, and mentored others. Kelly has lived with autoimmune diseases most of her life and has several diagnoses, including RA. She is author of the website Rheumatoid Arthritis Warrior and the moderator of an uplifting Facebook group with about 5,300 members. Kelly encourages others to fight their disease and trust God for help and hope. Kelly lives on Florida’s Space Coast and is an avid fan of Church liturgy, NASA, and NFL football. Twitter: @RAWarrior

Christine Miserandino is a writer, speaker, patient advocate, wife and mother living in Massapequa Park, NY. Christine is the founder of www.butyoudontlooksick.com, a website that provides resources and useful tips for living life to the fullest with a chronic illness. Her writing which has won various awards has been featured in numerous newspapers, magazines, medical newsletters and television media. She has been living with lupus for over 15 years, and has been volunteering for the Lupus Alliance, Long Island/ Queens Affiliate for 12 years. Twitter: @bydls

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Tuesday’s Workshop Panelists Share About Relationships and Chronic Illness

Our seminar today was “Relationships When You Live with a Chronic Illness” and Cheryl Ricker and Pam Farrel joined Lisa Copen to discuss friendship and marriage as they relate to chronic illness. Unfortunately Allison Bottke had an emergency and could not make it.

Lisa opened up by confessing that she was still in her PJs and had not had time to get dressed before the program. (So if you are listening in PJs, you are in good company!)

Cheryl discussed helping a friend with chronic illness and they shared what was done for them that has helped them as they cope with chronic illness. Cheryl shared the story behind her book, Friend in a Storm, of poetry written for a friend going through cancer treatment and how the gift of words is a wonderful gift.

Pam joined Lisa halfway through the program and they discussed the marriage relationship when one person is coping with chronic illness. She explained just what the difference is between men and women and what it is that makes them tick. Lisa asked Pam about the emotions involved when a spouse tells a chronically ill person, “I miss who you used to be…” Pam also shared some other tips from her book The Marriage Code.

You can still listen this program any time as it is archived. Either go to www.invisbleillnessconference.com or click in the BlogTalkRadio blue box to the right of this post.

“I loved the part on marriage and what Pam shared about how to communicate with your spouse when something slips out of your mouth that you should not have said,” shares Kelsey. “Thank you for these wonderful podcasts that I can listen to from my home!”

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If Just One Person… Believes in You

In honor of all of you who have been leaving sticky notes in anonymous little places where someone can find them and be encouraged, we dedicate this song to you.

Thank you for letting someone find a note that let’s them know someone believes in them.

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How Do You Start Becoming a “Well” Ill Person?

By Sue Ingebretson

Embarking on a journey can be both frightening and exciting. When the journey is about health — your own health — you may feel that the frightening far outweighs the exciting.

If you’re someone who’s chronically ill, consider your current status:

• Are you where you want to be?
• Do you feel satisfied with your level of wellness?

Few would answer “yes” to that question. Understanding the health journey process goes a long way toward removing the “frightening factor,” and that’s where the following illustration helps.

When I describe what I call the Rebuilding Wellness concept at speaking engagements, I tell it this way. Think about fixing up a home. Maybe it appears rundown; the eves sag, the paint has peeled, and the once-green lawn has gone beige. Nothing that some operating sprinklers and a new coat of paint can’t fix.

But, if you put some thought into it before the elbow grease, a home that has visible problems might have others, too. It could have problems that aren’t visible, bigger ones beneath the warped siding. What if the roof leaks or the plumbing is bad. Even worse, what if the foundation has cracks – serious cracks. Would slapping on a coat of exterior paint suffice as the ultimate remedy then?

Our health issues are the same way. By the time symptoms appear on the surface, the problems that caused them have already run amok elsewhere. Chronic illness takes time to manifest. It stands to reason that the application of solutions will be no quick fix.

So, where to begin? Consider the type of “cracks” that are affecting your foundation: nutritional deficiencies, extreme stress, toxin exposure (internal and external), infections, injuries, and/or hormonal/thyroid dysfunction. Take a look at what you think affects you most. Begin an action plan to remedy these problems and fortify your “home.”

Tackling these “cracks” one at a time is a big job, but I promise, Rebuilding Wellness is always a worthwhile investment.

Susan Ingebretson is a writer, speaker and the director of program development for the Fibromyalgia Research and Education Center at California State University, Fullerton. Her book, FibroWHYalgia, (2010) details her own journey from illness to wellness. You can read more at her website, Rebuilding Wellness. Ingebretson’s writing has appeared in the National Fibromyalgia Association (NFA) online and print magazine, FibromyalgiaAWARE. Susan is also featured in the NFA’s Public Service Announcement, “The Science Behind Fibromyalgia.”

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